pat downs got you down?

It seems like every time I turn on a tube or check the CNN app on my shiny new piece of overpriced technology there is another person complaining about the new security procedures at airports across the US of A.  Some person, who usually looks like they've been spending too much time in Middle Earth, pops up on the screen talking about how they feel violated or used in some way.  I listen to Frodo ramble for a few minutes and start to wonder how our country became so conceited!  Why is it that all of these people feel like these poor TSA workers actually enjoy running their hands up and down strangers' bodies for 8 hours a day?  I say give these security officials a raise for having to deal with the feeling of dread that surely washes over them every time the next troll in line saunters up, guns blazing, ready to scream "ASSAULT" if they've been feeling a little unappreciated lately.  What might their poor, latex-coated hands find on this one?  A third nipple?  The under-developed nub of an extra limb?  I say stop flattering yourself and look at the rub-down as a free upgrade courtesy of your airline and terrorists across the globe - and be thankful that you got some action in the form of a pat down instead of a blow up at 35 000 feet.